Death is an unavoidable subject in a person's life, and in the face of the departure of a loved one, how should the person left behind face the emotion of reluctance? "Talking to Xuanxuan" invited the senior brother of the funeral practitioner to talk to us about how we can reduce our regrets in the face of death.
It is inevitable that there will be moments in life when the people around you pass away. In the face of death, in the face of the fact that our loved ones are no longer there, we will feel regretful, reluctant, and even think, "Why is time still turning when this world is no longer the same?"
The topic of life and death has always been difficult to talk about with ease. "Talking to Xuanxuan" invited the senior brother who works in the funeral management center to share with us the life experience he has as a front-line worker, and how he views life and death.
There were tears in this conversation, and the day before the recording, Wei Xuan and Senior Brother both experienced a death parting, and they said that it was a feeling of broken tear glands and inability to control sadness. But after experiencing this conversation, being able to say it, it seems to be getting better, a little closer. The video below is the dialogue full of warmth and understanding that day.
What should I do if I feel reluctant to part?
"When someone leaves, don't cry, because if you cry out loud, the deceased will be nostalgic." This is probably the words that many people will hear when they go through the process of death rituals.
Whether it is a consideration of customs, or a statement to give comfort to those who stay, what should we do in the face of the reluctance that keeps pouring out?
"Every reluctance seems to be teaching me something." The senior brother said that every reluctance will be more firm for him, and he should have better intentions for the living people, and don't leave regrets, which is the best, so he always tries his best to give.
He recalls that when his pet left, he always held the idea of giving more before he died, rather than saying goodbye with a grand funeral after death, so even if he was sad, he seemed to have fewer regrets.
However, even if it is chic, but in the face of the regret of parting, sometimes it is still difficult to completely eliminate it, and that regret may come from our longing, gratitude, or love for a person, because it has sincerely existed, so it will never stop, and there will always be "too late".
As a receptionist, after watching so many stories that are too late, the elder brother chooses to recall the memories of getting along with his loved ones, and does not cling to those that have not yet been fulfilled, as long as he misses those happy times, it seems that he can make regrets a little less.
(Gaying in the same scene: Why didn't I cry when my loved one passed away?) Grief doesn't have to be proven to anyone, everyone's mourning is unique)
Picture: "Talking to Xuan Xuan"
Those who are left behind, can have to learn
"Someone once told me that death is the end of everything, but it is also the starting point, you can be reluctant, but don't be sad, our not sadness can help the people we love to move forward more bravely. When it comes to death, Wei Xuan shares this change of mentality.
And the elder brother, as a person who observes death up close, also personally shared what he feels about facing death, and how we should face life for the living:
1. Convert all the reluctance into cherishing the living people, so that regrets will not be repeated
2. Nostalgic for good memories, don't be too obsessed with "too late", it will make you have fewer regrets
3. Death is a joy for the deceased, and it is not torture for the living, but a reminder of life
4. Learn to face death early and let our loved ones know that we are alive and well
(Guess you want to see: Writing Healing: After a loved one or lover leaves, write a letter to accompany yourself through the pain)
Behind the scenes: Death makes people feel together, and after the conversation, we all learn to be strong
Before the interview, the elder brother actually went to the toilet, washed his face several times, and adjusted his mood before entering the recording room.
Crying and laughing, I finally ended the interview.
Perhaps, as Wei Xuan said, "Experiencing death can make people who are different have a common vision of each other." Because they have experienced the same loss, they can empathize with each other's discomfort even more, and it is no wonder that the senior brother will say that Wei Xuan is strong in his eyes.
This empathy can only be possessed after having similar experiences and similar pictures.
Zhuangzi said, "Fang is born and dies, and Fang is dead and is born." Death is instantaneous and eternal, because from the moment we are born, we are walking towards death, and even we are dying every day.
Since death is the reality of life and an inescapable subject, what we can do is to use our own way to face the occurrence of life positively, live every day as if there are four seasons as much as possible, get along with the people you love, let them feel your attention, your love, and do more when they can get along, that is useful.
I hope that all people who have had similar experiences will remember, love, and live well.