"Brothers and Sisters in Love" Long Yu: The more I love you, the more I want to push you away? Avoidant attachment is not not not not loving, but afraid of being hurt!

There is a new topic in Korean love variety shows, in the past, you have watched "Single is Hell" to show the primitive desires of human beings; "Men and Women Who Return to Singleness" interprets mature love; Or the old and new fate intertwined in "Transfer Love".

This time, the former PD of "Transfer Love" will develop a new type of love drama "Love Brothers and Sisters" with the theme of "Love with Your Siblings", and the participants will participate in the recording of the show with their siblings, in addition to finding their own romance, but also developing a new fate for their siblings.

Compared with other love dramas, "Love Brothers and Sisters" not only mentions love, but also talks about family affection, and talks openly and honestly. The show uses a setting that cannot expose the kinship, making the common female and male competition situation of Lianzong unnecessary, less anger and more warmth, so that the friendship between people can be handled more delicately, and the audience can also see how the original family affects the formation of intimate relationships.

(Screening in the same scene: Why did Dongzhen choose to leave after 13 years of long-distance love running in "Transfer Love 3"?) You sacrificial lovers, this time you have to live for yourself! ）

Picture: "Brothers and Sisters in Love"

Long Yu: Children who are forced to grow up just pretend that they don't need emotions

Among the four siblings, the one I cherish the most is Long Yu.

Long Yu comes from a single-parent family whose father is absent, while his mother earns money to support the family, Long Yu, who is ten years different from his sister Zhu Yan, naturally shoulders the responsibility of taking care of his sister, Long Yu once said, "Taking care of my sister is not a job, but a life and an obligation", and my mother also said, "Compared to me, Long Yu is better at changing diapers and feeding milk."

In the family interaction, Long Yu has taken on the responsibility of taking care of his sister since he was a child, and based on empathy for his parents, he learns to hide his emotions and becomes a child who is forced to grow up.

However, in fact, when his sister was born, he was only ten years old, an age that still needed to be taken care of, but Long Yu chose to hide, so no one could see that he was still young, in fact, he still had the need to be seen, cared for, and cared for.

Long Yu's sensibility supports a warm environment for his sister to grow up. It is also because of the presence of my brother that my sister has been able to grow into a cheerful appearance.

In the eyes of his sister, his brother's emotions are stable, he doesn't cry or get angry, and when he grows up, his sister understands that Long Yu is not without emotions, on the contrary, it is precisely because he clearly knows that he can't have emotions, so he pretends that he doesn't want to.

Picture: "Brothers and Sisters in Love"

Long Yu and Chu Ya's love: I am an evasive attachment, I want to love you but am afraid of expectation

Childhood experience is ingrained in a person's imagination of intimacy, just like burying a wound, one day when someone steps on the piece that you buried well, thinking that it is okay to hurt, a certain piece of the heart is turned up, telling you that it is useless to try to forget, because the body still remembers.

In the show, Long Yu was attracted to Chu Ya, and the two went on a date steadily, even if Long Yu went out on a date with other girls because of the requirements of the show, but when sending heart-warming text messages, he still firmly chose Chu Ya.

Just when the two had the possibility of further intimacy, Long Yu suddenly stopped, doubting his choice. Some people say that Long Yu's behavior changed when a girl fell in love with him is a scumbag, but in fact, the reversal in interpersonal relationships comes from the potential attachment model of the individual.

In childhood, the object (parents) that Long Yu can attach to is not by his side, and it is difficult to meet the basic identity and care needs, and he has been in a world where there is no response and is not seen for a long time.

For a long time, he is used to hiding his emotions, along with the idea of connecting with others, and for intimacy, he adopts an attitude of not expecting to avoid injury, so you will see that when he first got along with Chu Ya, Long Yu actually quickly stated that he did not look forward to it, which was his self-defense, and it was also an act to avoid others from being hurt.

This does not mean that avoidant attachment people do not crave intimacy, on the contrary, because they have not had the experience of being seen in the relationship, they crave but seem to be more afraid.

When the fear of someone being special to them and the fear of being shown nakedly, they can only choose to protect themselves, choose not to want anyone to be special for the time being, and not let someone stand in that position where they can easily hurt you.

Because only by not allowing others to come close to oneself can one not cause inner anxiety and fear, but this restraining one's behavior may therefore push the loved one away.

(Guess what you want to see: How can a trauma-avoiding, anxious personality heal itself?) Psychologist: Look at yourself positively, your existence is the most beautiful testimony of life)

Picture: "Brothers and Sisters in Love"

"Brothers and Sisters in Love": None of us will be heartbroken when we meet people in the presence of our loved ones

To all like Long Yu, feel like love but afraid, two conflicting emotions, the mood will be complicated, your confusion at the moment is normal, if you are like Long Yu, try to half-cover your heart, let people get close, talk to people, then you already have half of the courage.

As for the courage of the other half to believe that you can be loved, I wish you to grow gradually.

You may not be understood, or even you will not be able to let go of it, until you have full courage, but remember that your family or friends around you will be your best support.

Just like Long Yu's sister Zhu Yan's firm companionship in the face of complex emotions, this is exactly what "Brothers and Sisters in Love" shows us - light and warm family affection between siblings.

There are thousands of combinations of love, and where there is family, there is love.

One day, you will have complete courage, have a heart, and do not rush.