February is a month filled with love, and the fan salon is also infected with a pink atmosphere!
We have invited both rational and perceptual love analyst---- -------------------------- ------------------------------- Now let's revisit those questions about love.
What do you call love? What do you call love?
At the beginning of the salon, two young ladies threw a question that never got the right answer, as the beginning of the afternoon, let the sea-moss bear and bailey straight call good difficult to answer!
Romantic two Miss feel, although both people feel love than like, more with a desire to occupy each other, but there is a love, is not seeking return, do not want to say that the export to persecute commitment, only hope that each other happy, the so-called "have to pay the love", immediately aroused two love experts to a wonderful repartee.
"How could you not say it?" said the sea-moss bear first. Those who are very dedicated "unwilling" just do not have the courage to break the balance of the present, fear of losing all that is now. But one day, you will not be able to bend in such a relationship, and will love to say, expect the other side to give you the same feedback. 」
Belle smiled and nodded and said: "I think the love that cries for nothing is the most terrible, because what lies behind it is: he wants everything." And don't you think you already have an answer to your relationship when you're afraid to say it? He may not love you at all. (Recommended reading: Do We think true love, will not exist at all?) )
From the lovers into the family, we are to get or lose?
"A lot of people have said this:" Marriage, is the tomb of love, as if you entered the marriage was sentenced to death! But someone told me another interesting saying: "You don't go into marriage, you don't even have a tomb." The sea-Bear said in a humorous tone, and provoked the scene to be laughed at.
"Love is really very good, but a lifetime of passion is too much to harm and worry!" He continues to say, "Biologically speaking, we will be in love because the body will secrete dopamine and positive adrenaline, so that two of the lovers have been in a happy, sweet and passionate state, but this has not been able to live a good life." 」
He made the following conclusion: from Love to a state of being like a family is actually a gain, you no longer because you feel that the other person is a partner, so you must care about him, but from the heart of the desire to take the initiative to care and care for each other-although it will lose the original desperate enthusiasm, but you will be a lot Shared Memory "and some wonderful and feeling.
Belle also shares the memory of the part of the agreement, she felt that this part is the first to let two people fall into love the key, at the beginning of the meeting, may be some similar or feel familiar with the habits of life and feel the other side is " People ", and in the process of communication will continue to accumulate those, you do not need to ask each other, you can understand each other tacit understanding, it is the most precious and beautiful. (Tarot: is this "he" the right person around?) )
If because too love a person, but can not and the next person has the feeling of passion should do? The second lady raised the question of the girl who was in Love's mailbox telling her that she was unable to fall in love again because her ex-boyfriend died.
"Why hurry to start the next relationship?" Just cherish the memory of that man, and let himself immerse himself in the pain! Bailey said, "Only let the pain exhausted, really put down the past, can really start another love ah." It is unfair to you and to him who is with you now. 」
"In fact, to really end a relationship is very painful, perhaps with the present boyfriend good confession of this matter," the sea-moss Bear has not finished, Bailey immediately asked him if he is the current boyfriend, not angry?
"It seems that ... Still be angry! "But I don't think it would hurt a lot more than being honest," said the bear. "(Recommended reading: Frankly do not love, in fact, not so hurtful )
The site's readers also share their own experience, said that they had a relationship for more than seven or eight years, very loving boyfriend, one day, but suddenly said to break up, "then I and the next met him less than two years to get married, I really can't waste time like this." 」
Perhaps how to deal with such "lovelorn" there is no so-called best solution, but if you can face the voice of the heart, face yourself want and do not want, you may find that you are ready to do.
Is there a pure friendship between men and women?
" What is pure friendship?" he said. do you have a line? A friend of the salon asked questions.
Bailey puts forward the simplest way to define: "If you don't want to push each other down, it's pure friendship!" 」
And the sea Moss Bear also added, when you have a physical desire for each other, when you are together always afraid of others eyes, often without reason to think of him, then your relationship in your heart is no longer so simple, but contains a trace of infatuation or like the feelings.
"If you start thinking that you are not pure friendships with someone, then you have a problem!" A general friend would never have thought of that. "said Belle.
But the sea bear also put forward, perhaps some people will be friends booing and other social influence, over time to start thinking about the possibility, but still want to make a good distinction, is "really like each other" or just because they have been said for a long time and feel "should be like each other."
Although said, love is not even a grain of sand can not tolerate, not to mention is a "pink confidant"? But in a situation where 60%-80% of the people have heterosexual friends, perhaps we can use such a small judgment to look at each other's relationships in a healthy way, and more importantly, remember and the other half to say that you are worried about the "pink confidant" in your heart.
Should we change the direction of our lives for the sake of the other half?
"People will want to take a more relaxed way, let others to be responsible for their own lives." Bailey said, "Whether you are going abroad for further study or work, you have to decide what you want to do with your life, and if you feel willing to leave everything to go abroad with him, then you have to bear the possible consequences." 」
Sea Moss Bear put forward a "psychological distance" theory, let us try to think, if really follow, that five years later, you, will not be the state you want? He also says that this thinking doesn't give you the "right" answer, just a little bit closer to where you want to be.
We also feel that even if we are with someone, our life is still to be borne by ourselves, isn't it? (Recommended reading: Are you really growing up?) After 20 years of age, you should learn 15 things in life.
Why did he suddenly not love me?
"Never suddenly did not love this matter, only you did not notice those, small, let the other side uncomfortable place." 」
Sea Moss Bear and Belle agree that all emotions are cumulative, love is, not Love is. Sometimes even if unpleasant, we will think that the silence and tolerance of this relationship is the best, but in fact in love the biggest injury is: "not sincere." "(In fact , silence, let him go farther)
"Not sincere is the number one murderer who kills feelings." Sometimes true words hurt people, but being kept in the dark is more difficult to accept. ' said the sea-bear.
Two miss also can not help to say that trust is really a major focus on maintaining feelings. And no matter how long the relationship has been gone, you can't forget to love.
"If you forget to love each other at any time, then we will inadvertently, in the most painful way to let each other hurt the deepest, because we are so aware of each other." 」
Love is like fire, it's warm but it's easy to burn
"Love, lovelorn to get out of lovelorn, is from the dog into a cat process." 」
A fan of Sharon's friends and we have not been able to come out of the pain of love, said the last can not help to fall in the stage of tears, the scene is also a piece of tears shine.
Bailey suggested that the girl who had not come out of the trouble to slow down the pace, do not force yourself to immediately heal the end, "the day of breaking up, you have the privilege to be able to roar." And after the breakup, you can give yourself some time to go to grief, digestion of all the pain, but don't think about who to blame. "(Love gone, do not investigate the cause of love )
Sea Moss bear to analyze the stagnation period after lovelorn with psychological angle, and suggested that the girl boy in lovelorn can try to exercise and write these two methods, release the heart too much pressure. Exercise can increase endorphins, bring us a feeling of happiness like love, and writing is an outlet for the mind to be distracted.
The gentle two miss finally gave the girl a big hug, hoped can give her to face the sad courage and the strength, in the future may have a sweet can wring out the honey to love.
Talk about the love of Sharon quietly end of the afternoon, but we can still through the "Love Mailbox" to continue to chat about those who solve the love troubles!
Hey, let's get together and find the best way to love.
In love, we are all children who need to learn.
〉〉 not love, in fact, is the best answer
〉〉 Two people are really not lonely?
〉〉 When Love meets psychology, the 10 things that the sea bear wrote about Love
〉〉 girl's letter to her future boyfriend: Will Your love make me grow?
Author: womany Editorial office/Ting-ru Hsieh