About love, not only to talk softly, but also to speak in a sharp way. Talk about the two sexes of the writer generation has talent out, but when it comes to sharp, many people will be the first moment to think of Liu Li son. Liuliere, a queen of the erotic, has been traveling for 30 years, every time back to Taiwan for readers to bring insights insightful love commentary, honest portrayal of love in the way, people do not dare to road part, from the last one of the "Love Fighting Art", to the publication of the "Sexual Achievement Wish", Li Rei teachers do not change the top strokes, More naked about sex and love .
These weeks, we opened the newspaper, the first is to see the Pengshun and Li Cenji of the three events, and then there are curved and Huang Ye was kicked out of the affair, in "three","infidelity" news spate, Li Rei teacher more We bring the most authentic Taiwan-Japan exchange spicy views, In a word, she expressed Japan's view of the affair, "The affair, like being kicked on a crowded tram , is a matter of course for the Japanese, and in the face of the other half, what we should talk about is not forgiveness, because cheating is not the right or wrong thing!
Come and listen to Li Rei teacher How love say sex, believe will also greatly shake your thoughts about feeling.
The Japanese "Essence of affection is a change", and the Taiwanese people's "pursuit of the lasting"
Li Rei, 30 years in Japan, has a profound understanding of Japanese culture, talking about the biggest differences between Taiwanese and Japanese people, and she says the fundamental difference begins with the Japanese "change" and the "immutable" concept of Taiwanese. The Japanese believe that feelings are going to change, while Taiwanese people are advocating the same feelings.
For the Japanese, "Love Will change" is a matter of course, not only men will change, women of course will also change ( so men and women cheat is the same normal thing ), because each period of our needs and encounter of the people things are different, as time goes on, we will not be yesterday's, last month's , the year before last, so if the feelings changed, it would have been expected. So, loose, riding a donkey to find a horse, but is a naked human nature, there is no need to be a trial or group attack.
Li Rei Teacher also proposed recently by the Japanese news station to provide the data, 1/3 of the powder collar workers have the experience of love, and in love after having split leg experience of both men and women accounted for more than half. In the premise of "Love Is changeable", it is possible for them to split their legs or have extramarital affairs, whereas "feelings are unchanged" is regarded as something worth cherishing.
Because no one has the obligation to always or should be good for you, and no one who stipulates that Love is a lifetime. (Recommended reading: only yourself, have the obligation to their own good )
By contrast, Taiwanese have a particular obsession with the concept of "love is immutable". We grew up, more or less have been educated feelings should pursue the "everlasting death", we believe that "unchanged", should be the truth of love. Therefore, in order to keep this "unchanged", in order to enjoy the "unchanging" dream, Liuliere teacher observed that many of Taiwan's love relationship is not happy, or even a little suffocating, we have to be emotional conservative, in the feelings of not free and unhappy life.
And because they are not satisfied with their emotional status, but can not vent, so we have more desire to project the excavation of public figures in private news inside. The reason why we are so interested in gossip gossip about other people is that this kind of eye care is like a collective public sex , adding excitement to the original routine of emotional life and adding to the mood of infidelity. "Suppose, if our life is better than the news of others, what is there to be concerned about?" More of a critique, huh? "Liuliere teacher bold also playful said."
If you want to run a relationship, do not think of the relationship between the two people as binding, or mutual restraint. Because maybe one day, the other side really no longer need the way you love, or your love. That perhaps, also do not need to force oneself also force the other side to hold the original "unchanged", the two person's emotional life is exhausted.
We have listened to also feel that the feelings of the talk is not only "Shou", more with the time and "change", a good sense of their own and the other's mind, there is change, is a healthy and comfortable relationship should have the appearance.
Modern young people, deprived of the mood of leisurely love
There are more and more unmarried families in modern society, marriage and childbirth have become a luxury, for even the young people who are almost unable to afford themselves, love gradually lost the original leisure mood, Li Rei teacher shook his head said: "Now the young people are too poor, the cost of love is too high, The biggest reason for not getting married is because the economy is so low that the young people in Taiwan and Japan are going to lose their marriage ... "(Recommended reading: Why do Japanese men and women don't want to get married?) )
"When wages are too low, society is too messy, and their time is too little, young people are increasingly being deprived of the laid-back mood of falling in love," he said. I have seen this phenomenon in Japan, and come back to Taiwan I feel the deep helplessness of young people in Taiwan. 」
She went on to share a survey of Tokyo News: Young Japanese (20-30 years old) they feel that even love is very troublesome, do not want to fall in love with the number of rising, less money, more and more limited time, can dominate the income has been very little, so more do not want to spend on others, their own care is not good, how to talk about another person Today's society may be the reason for young people to refuse to fall in love again, because when they can't even keep themselves alive, they can't imagine a family one day. So now put their interest in the love before the people a lot, because there is no margin, there is no leisure to love.
In particular, the teacher mentioned that Japan recently began to have a "weekend wedding" concept, it is the husband and wife who meet at the weekend to live together, usually in their own original family continue to rely on parental rearing, from this point can see the new form of marriage under the changing times, but also reflects the current social structure of Japan.
For those who want to get married, Li Rei teachers also according to experience, some very good advice! From a Japanese proverb, "marriage is a can without labels, you open it to know what's inside." "Whether the future of two people will be your favorite canned, or a sour can, really only after trying to know, we can do is to prepare beforehand, let open cans when they like the chance to improve, that's all!"
For those who want to get married, Li Rei thinks the most important thing is to choose a partner who can really talk and treat you equally. Please find someone who cares about your "likes" and "dislikes", please find someone who honeys your work, please find someone who is willing to measure you by "who you are" instead of "your salary". No matter a man or woman, a man who is willing to treat the other half equally can go long. (Recommended reading: It is not true love that scares you. )
What else can we say about infidelity besides "right or wrong"?
Then we talked to Li Rei teacher recently in Taiwan is fiery red of the topic of infidelity, Li Rei teacher's face flashed a mysterious smile so said ...
"I say so, perhaps for many people is not pleasant to hear." But I think, about cheating, we really don't want to talk about who is wrong. Because there are too many reasons behind this thing, not only a person's fault, two people's fault or three people's fault, the feelings may have been a rift early, two people may be again to endure to see who first. "(Recommended reading: stay single-minded in love, need some effort )
Don't blame each other for not talking about right or wrong, but don't beat yourself up. Things have happened and don't make everyone ugly.
The most important thing is: ask yourself if you want this person, or do you want to be with him? Can you accept being with him? This part is divided into two levels, the first is whether the body can still have sex with her (think the sex device is someone else used to have entered the body of others, physically would like to reject this person, this physiological reaction is very realistic) physical no problem, the second is mentally also can accept this kind of cheating state?
If you decide to accept it, treat it like a two-person relationship again! It would not have been like yesterday, tomorrow will not be the same as today. Instead of going back to the same state as it was before, you can change it to a two-person relationship in another phase and start over again.
It was her idea to give all the things that had been derailed, and in the end, the most important question was: Do you want to be with him? Can you still be with him?
Instead of spending time arguing with the small and the little Wang, what is the point of the result in exchange for what you don't want? Intercourse or marriage, must be also loved each other, so please use your own highest happiness index to consider, if the grab back is good for themselves, rather than to fight for breath, it makes sense.
Li Rei Teacher mentioned in the talk of feelings, we can easily forget that their youth is important, we will inevitably go on, will be a relationship, will be a person, but to be honest, a discard relationship is not a pity to lose, because you are wasting your time, but also both sides can meet a better person's chance. (same field Gayon: ruthless heart, do an irresponsible lover )
If you want to start again, remember to think of each other as a new person, and to think of yourself as a new self. This is your decision, you are worthy of your own good!
Li Rei Teacher in Taiwan to see the situation is that many people are tied in love, I tied you, you control me, and finally everyone is not very happy, our feelings and human understanding is reversed. In fact, most of the time, especially in relationships, will become more real, if you can change the angle of "feelings are changed" to look at the relationship between the two, then see a lot of things naturally can have different views, will give themselves and each other a lot of space, will cherish two people love this moment. Instead of taking all others to their own good, as a "natural".
Please keep to love, a little time without net
The rapid progress of science and technology, always have good and bad, now we fall in love, is always quite dependent on communication software, as if all the affection can be used line or WhatsApp bearer, but when the communication media changes more and more quickly, the reality of communication has become more and more trouble, we for waiting, Have lost patience with feelings. " before people encounter something bad will first think about repair, now we are thinking of change first." "The rate of emotional change with the progress of science and technology, and become faster."
Li Rei Teacher Special said: "Every relationship needs a little time, every couple need a little communication time, talk about like and dislike, even to talk about the feelings of love, so that the spirit of intimacy can keep up with the physical intimacy." "Don't let communication become trouble, when the relationship between the two gradually become cumbersome, what is the meaning of love?"
So if his line has been read, you can meet to talk about, if the relationship is not what both sides want, temporarily shout stop for a period of time, to two people have to rethink the importance of each other time, and why not? In any case, in the face of feelings must be a bit brave, whether it is a period of time or adjust the pace of each other, please remember that you have the right to pursue a better love for their own. (Recommended reading: do not always wait for his reading is not back )
That one afternoon, we listen to Li Rei teacher talk about a lot of love or the concept of sex, a lot of harvest, but also a lot of impact, finally we asked the Pear teacher favorite love dialogue, Li Rei teacher smiled and said: "I think no matter love and life, no regrets is the most important." "In the absence of regret this premise, want to do anything can be brave to do."
We also have experienced a considerable number of Li Rei teachers from the "Love" and "sex" two aspects, give us some practical advice! To listen to, for love and sex, you will have more imagination!
Perhaps because love miss will not come back, perhaps because we love people do not always love us, perhaps because the world is always some unspeakable fate, two of people meet so worthy of collection, meet a You like, he also like your talent so worth happy! No matter what the outcome, mercilessly love, like a child, so that they do not regret, to enjoy the moment of brave love!