Women who are obsessed with the " Gender Watch " notes, with their motivational and environmental implications, will be sharing their gender-related current affairs observations from short stories. Society has a universal expectation of motherhood, and fathers often have an alibi in their parenting roles, from the recent heated discussion of the "Mom being driven off the bus" news, to see the potential for a mother's latent stress and the future of the untied parenting stereotype. (Recommended to you: a married but always have no time father, let Taiwan mother become a false single parent )
On the afternoon of 4th, a bus from Fengyuan to the University of Asia, a mother alone led the child to the car, not long, the child can not suppress the start crying, mother efforts to appease the child's feelings, the child indifferent continue to cry, the car passengers looked at each other, when a man broke the silence, he said "Miss, can you please get off?" Mother was embarrassed and had to touch her nose and got out of the car.
Another mother, in the pain of bereavement, calmly and rationally face the camera, point out the hidden problems of social structure, "at the time of random killings, the fierce suspicion has been irrational." I still want to be able to from the root, from the family, from education, so that people disappear in the community, so that our descendants do not appear such people. 」
Because the tone of calm words sonorous, because there is no hysterical rage, because there is no random homicide throwing more Enchi malicious, let many netizens message questioned, "the child died mother so cold-blooded, is not love children?" "or accuse" mother didn't hold the child's hand tightly at that time, "mother how not to take the child to block that knife? If it's me ... "(Recommended thinking: Salute to the small bulb Mother: Please society don't say mother should" protect "child )
How can I ask, is it easy to be a mother? Children cry will be glared sideways, children in distress will be attacked dereliction of duty, children make mistakes is the mother did not teach good, the child is not fat is the mother did not seriously feed, the child is all mother's responsibility.
A woman's name is often imagined with her mother, the birth of a child is regarded as a woman's some kind of "agent", the mother of two words how heavy, the society wants you to be a universal mother, the excrement of urine, unconditional sacrifice, not to make mistakes, as if a woman was born must know to be a mother of all expectations. (same field Gayon: When a mother is a choice, not an obligation: A woman who doesn't want to have a baby doesn't have to explain to society )
So the child was born at the moment, also like the end of the mother's life, after having children, when she occasionally give priority to care about their own life, all in the eyes of society, can not help but feel guilty.
But I also want to ask, such a moment, where did dad go? Can he not be absent from the same position as a pro?
The Invincible mother and the commanding father of the breadwinner.
"A woman can have a child and a man can't, so the patriarchal system provides the three least resistance: he can belittle what she does, he can try to control what she does, or he can feel incompetent, the simplest way is to belittle her and belittle what she does." "Sex knot"
So we heard a lot of dads say it's not so hard to be a mother, to take a child easy, or to shrug and say in a contemptuous tone, "It's better to take a child and give it to a mother, and I'll be responsible for raising children, which is even more difficult." (Recommended thinking: men?) Woman? Who's going to handle the chores? )
"After the baby was born, I never had a moment, was a person of my own."
I also believe that many dads do not want to be absent from their children's memories, can be in the male outside the female main family division, the father is expected to breadwinner (Bread-winner), mother is expected to control the household (home-maker), rigid stereotyped gender role, let the movement may all take the enormous pressure.
The father who takes the child accepts the stranger's questioning gaze and the reminder, "What about your wife?" Is it okay to be a man? "The mother who goes out to work is labeled as a woman, and there is a strange conjecture" You must be very strong, the husband eat dead. (same field Gayon:"Do you have a man with a child?" "It is society that does not fit the dignity of men."
In the family of the "ideal" of the rigid division of labor, the individual's will and freedom of choice was put very low, in order to complete the perfect home, ideal husband, full marks of the wife.
Tikingang's coat, more versions of the mother story
I have heard my mother sigh, she said 25 years old, it is my age, she gave birth to me, and then she almost no longer think about what life she can live. "There is no way, take care of the child than the imagination is still difficult, until you and your brother are big, can take care of themselves, I suddenly think of not taking care of your life how to live." 」
I do not know how many mothers are so, the whole life of the rules hands-on, the responsibility to bring up the child on the shoulders, the society to her projection of all look forward to receive all the attention, until the burden of the heavy to she has been quick to see where she is.
I've heard more mom stories, they're working moms, pregnant child, not too dare to take maternity leave, after the child was born, not too dare to take parental leave, afraid to return to the workplace; they also have to resign to go home with their children, a year or two after the initiation of work desire, but have not found the path back to the workplace.
They have housewives, many people think that their life is a lady, but she is not working hours of 24 hours of labor, even the last toilet is scared.
Under Tikingang's coat, there are more versions of the mother story. They are not born to know how to be a mother, they may be driven out of the bus countless times, may be her mother-in-law read countless times enough to take care of children, may be separated from friends can not have their own life circle, become the mother's way to go winding, they sometimes really tired, but can not blurt out, do not know who to ask for help, Because the mother does not seem to be tired of the right.
"For the mother is strong" is too harsh praise, so that they will not breath.
Before the completion, I saw the Japanese Asahi news report, last August, that is also a bus, two women with a baby, the baby began to cry, mother and friends in turn to appease, the baby is crying louder, the mother's pressure is growing.
Suddenly, the driver's voice from the car broadcast out, "Little baby's mother, no matter yo." You must be sleeping, right? Or are you hungry? Or a diaper wet? You think it's hot? "A few short words, mother heard almost crying out, how long have not heard such warm words?"
Is it possible to make such a statement, not a special case?
The expectation of parental role and the family's standard division of labor have structural problems, but if we are willing to embrace more gentleness in our lives, if we are willing to untie the universal expectations of motherhood, if we welcome more fathers to join the ranks, if we are willing to give the family more freedom to imagine, then perhaps, It's not as hard as we thought. (Recommended to you: There are three kinds of dads in Taiwan, but no one remembers growing up with them )