Mother's Day has passed, but we wish to use more strength and time to explore the difficulty of being a mother . On Mother's Day eve, a mother and her two children died silently, this is not just a mother's melancholy story, more likely refers to the big environment is not perfect, a group of mother's melancholy complex. We are eager to learn more about why our mother is blue and what kind of assistance can society provide? (same field Gayon: sex Watch: Can I not be super mom )
Mother's Day has been so chattering. And I always remember on the eve of Mother's Day, Xinzhu County a 39-Year-old Lin surname woman suffocated two children, and then hanged suicide message, she left a suicide note said "I am very tired, take two children away, please take good care of yourself." 」
Lin surname woman is a full-time mother, husband in bamboo work, family live in Zhubei Gao Tiete District, after the incident, neighbors have said not understand why she suicide, a family seems very happy.
I can't help thinking, "Happy Mother's Day" and "Mother's love really great" collective call and hypnosis, we often do not see the "unhappy Mother" predicament? Are we overly reinforcing the mother's happiness and simplifying the mother's hardship?
On Mother's Day eve, a mother with her children died, like a bloody prophecy, some mothers do not want to feast, some mothers are not happy, some mothers are very tired, this is not just a mother's melancholy story, more refers to the mother of the common embrace of melancholy complex. (same field Gayon: Salute to small bulb Mother: Please society don't say mother should "protect" child )
We should also ask, why is mother melancholy? And how can society provide assistance?
Not to be allowed to melancholy mothers
Do moms have the right to be blue? Does our society encourage our mothers to show their unhappiness? I turned off the screen to polish the bright advertisement, mother pours milk, mother washes clothes, mother goes home after work to cook vegetables, mother gracefully uses the newest vacuum cleaner, we see Mother's selfless great, saw the sacrifice devotion of maternal, saw "model mother" practice way, but see the latent defeat of mother.
from prenatal anxiety to postpartum urinary incontinence: You do not know the five kinds of mother puzzles that I have never imagined the mother of the difficult, when the praise of the mother of our speech is always very one-sided, we want the mother of divine greatness, but never seriously look at the problems faced by mother. Why do we have to ask ourselves to understand the frustration of being a mother before asking her why she is blue?
If she is a working mother, perhaps she wants to pursue career success, but not to miss the child's growth stage, in which case, she has to prove that she is a clean worker and mother, and both have to use excess time to exchange. Or perhaps she chooses to put more emphasis on the workplace, and may be criticized as "not enough to love the child's mother", or the lack of a perfect parenting system. (same field Gayon: a daughter, two new creation company!) Zhang Yushan: "To be a mother, but also to be yourself")
If anything went wrong, society did not seem to give her more choice than to blame herself.
Well, if she is a full-time mother, she may wonder if she is a good mother to look forward to, she must be for the child's food, education, personality to develop all-round care, she may be more "good mother" expectations, be asked to pay more maternal love and more time without distraction.
Women have to spend a lot of effort to prove the word "mother". The Society to "motherly love" a word demands extravagant, good mother is should, motherly love was exaggerated innate nature, and as long as the mother any mistake, she must bear the "lost mother" accusation. In this case, can the mother really admit that she is not happy? (Recommended thinking:a letter from a 25-year-old daughter to her mother: how I wish to return you to your lost life )
See the tree and see Lin's mother dilemma: to give a better parenting care
Women's knowledge is held in 5/6 "who is happy on Mother's Day?" "Press conference, the Government's policy on the care of the renewal of the request, hoping to improve the 0-2-Year-old child" home care "coverage rate, in addition to the government needs to increase subsidies, also must implement the pricing of fees. At the same time, also requires more than 250 enterprises must have "supporting facilities", the scale of the public support system.
In addition to mental adjustment, such as the rigid "good mother" requirements of the Untied Mother, and the need to be more active in parenting, we can also discuss from the institutional point of view that "child care" should not only be a household matter for parents, but a public affair shared by the national government.
The Taipei Municipal Society Bureau reported in early 2016 the introduction of a "friendly support fee subsidy", the maximum of one months can have a subsidy of 8500 yuan, the existing 15 public private care Center has been forms full, there are still more than 2000 people queuing, the government will be more active in the development of the system to respond to private demand. This is already a resource-rich Taipei, there are more counties and cities are still lack of resources, the development of a complete system of support. (for example, there are currently 14 private baby care centres in Kaohsiung and only 3 in Taichung)
Image source: Cai English face book
Tsai last year's women's Day proposed "the education, long-picture, women's employment triple care policy", uphold the "innovation, employment, distribution" of the three principles, the women from the family care of the single identity released to enhance the employment rate, and the national strength to reduce the enormous burden of family support. We are eager to see more perfect instructions and supporting measures after the 520 new government takes office. (same field Gayon: Please thank the mothers who would like to have children in Taiwan )
I hope we remember that on the eve of Mother's Day, a mother died silently with her child. And hopefully we'll talk about motherhood and motherly love in the future, be able to contain more complexity, mention more of the frustration and darkness of motherhood, reach out to more social and personal assistance, and give mothers a real reason to be happy.
The age of the Big woman , may we finally become ourselves