Cindy and Lana, they are pregnant with the twins, over the system counter proposing, set up their own family, two people spared no effort to go, they said, life to greed, love does not need to choose.
April in the Marriage equality Salon, I first met Cindy (Susan) with Lana (Yu Ling). At that time their story caused the whole audience red eyes. Cindy's father picked up the microphone to introduce: "This is my daughter, this is my daughter-in-law, our grandson is about to be born, we are very happy." "(Recommended you see: 60-year-old parents in the eyes of" marriage equality ": This is my daughter, this is my daughter-in-law, we are very happy )
Cindy quite pudgy's belly, with Xiang Xiang and qi qi, a family smile on the camera look, became my heart a beautiful film, if one day before dying can see life, the lantern will certainly have this one.
After half a year, I came to their roots landed home, open the door Cindy and Lana in the doorway smiled to greet me, belly unloaded, is in the living room side let Grandma Manosun is brother, a blink of an eye, the world let him blink up.
Cindy and Lana have known each other for six years, and in 2014 they registered for marriage in Canada, and 2015 to the United States for artificial reproductive surgery. What do I ask you to make you want to have a baby? Cindy and Lana said that from the beginning of their acquaintance, they continued to share each other's life plan, decided to marry the moment, also decided to have a child.
We are married: meet you is countless thanks
Talking about the meaning of marriage to two people, they stare at each other's eyes self-evident. Cindy childhood longing for marriage, because the parents get along with the relationship more let her want to have their own family, originally because of their sexuality to have many retreat, until 30 years old, she witnessed a pair of gay partner's marriage, and met Lana,cindy describe his life of good luck in this.
Lana said: "I did not think about the marriage of this matter, I care is to find a life partner, met her, we have been inseparable from the beginning, really very comfortable, words also can not finish together, like a life community." 」
I asked Cindy how to see the relationship between them? She said that the statue of God, two people immediately giggled: "I and Lana is one plus one equals three, I think we two, united the strength is very big, can use better state of face life." 」
But the greatest significance of marriage to them, is the combination of two families, resulting in more fetters and companionship, when it comes to marriage and exchanges, they think each relationship has each other's edges and corners, Lana tease their character urgent, but we will always mistakenly recognize Cindy is bad temper that: "She is very innocent ah, I am responsible for many crimes. 」
Cindy told me that Lana was straight, but also very cautious and careful, just to make up for her confused personality. They talk about the merits of each other. "Thank you." A word always flows between two people. (Recommended reading: Please kindly refuse to break into the campus "anti-marriage" letter: My child is gay, I still love him )
Two people say good luck, in the right time met her: "Also just, before the feelings of credit we have got, meet each other time just graduated, can this go down." 」
Mom, this is the man I've been thinking about all my life.
This way went on, but also through a lot of pit holes. Marriage, composition of the family of course not only two people, looking at the two people now to each other's parents as their parents look after, it is difficult to imagine their first opening when the family fragmentation.
Cindy with his family at the age of 20, when the mother thought the child had been brought bad, straight down in tears, Cindy is a soft hearted person, she does not want to see someone because she was hurt, so back to their own dark Ark: "30 years old when I met Lana, I know I really must choose my freedom." I decided to tell my family, this person is I want to live a lifetime of people, you help me to see her. 」
The rumor has it that you're putting your parents in a closet. So Cindy more think that they have "help their parents out of the closet" necessary: "live to them, let them know that this is not the wrong thing, you can still be very happy." 」
So now Cindy's father, often "out of the closet to strangers," he personally told everyone, my daughter has a very happy gay family.
Lana's out of the ark tragic, the wedding day, the mother read the news in the newspaper, Shocked also wrath: "Her immediate reaction is to think I am cheating, disrespect her, treason." For a while our relationship to the freezing point, I will slowly communicate with her, you see me, but you want to see me, I have been trying to hide the true self, now I do it, you should be happy with me. 」
Many lesbians have "no marriage" to stall forced marriages, and Lana certainly used this, she said it is not a good way, because deception will only create a "false relationship", the original family has not the happiness of the sincere. (Extended reading: Gender Watch: legal disregard of gay stories, no love, no room Biansen )
"True happiness is more important. Many people in the workplace also do not dare to say that they are gay. If you are ever so wronged, you will always be the Golden man and the masked man. "--lana
Life is too short, why not be yourself?
Fixing a relationship with a mother is a long way off, but without parents not loving their children, being honest and frank after confirming their own life will be a means of minimizing the resistance to family injury.
Lana said: "After the Ark, my mother and my relationship is better, my world began to open up, I told her your daughter is already super love people, I use the real face of her, in a lot of communication after she is willing to frankly accept, we finally have a real relationship." 」
Two people said that life is not a first-class waiting. How many comrades have endured their own fear of the bursting of their homes? How many people have been so delayed for only this life. For them, out of the closet in order to exercise their rights in life, willing to accept the social reports, but also because want to let everyone see, comrades are in the family, and they are capable of happiness.
I asked the two of them if they could give encouragement to the comrades. Cindy first Sigh, life is short.
"Be brave and do yourself, this is the most important, when you are brave enough to do yourself, you will get an unexpected harvest." You have to live your life, you have your own life. "--cindy
"You have to try to make people see that you can live well." Why wear a mask to hide yourself? Find the true self, you will be brave to own responsibility, all regrets. "--lana
Do not have a try not to shout the pain of life, they are soft bones strong, in Lana and Cindy spare no effort to promote the action of the gay movement and personal practice of happiness of determination, I feel deeply admired.
We're gay families, we're not different.
With their own life, with their own family, they practice the shape of home. Family's house is faint orange dizzy light, soft carpet and sofa is accompanied by the daily landscaping, the kitchen full of travel photo is the landmark since the acquaintance, a large area of beige, such as their love and gentleness.
I ask what's the hardest thing about having my own family? Cindy said the difficult is not a person, but: "We met people after marriage, or the market of the wife, are generous out of the ark, and no one said anything." The most frustrating is the legal family relationship, we can't be like heterosexual couples. 」
In Taiwan's production, although not meet the difficulties of health care staff, Lana signed documents Cindy parents are accompanied, but who can say future medical choice will encounter obstacles? From this pregnancy process, because Taiwan's "artificial reproductive law" only allows "monogamy" for artificial reproduction, clearly in their own country to do medical surgery cheaper, gay partners can only go abroad to seek high price pipeline.
Lann mentions that in the United States and Canada, even single girls have the right to have children. In this way, we should think about what is Taiwan's imagination about "home"?
As a single mother in the household, Cindy love dearly children can not establish a family relationship with Lana, they look forward to the passage of marriage equality, most hope that children know that she is in a complete family: "With children, began to think about a lot of future they will face the Taiwan environment, care about education, care class." We have heard the sharing of many gay parents, the children will not feel that the gay family is strange, but the children's parents, teachers, individual beliefs and perceptions may be to the gay family children caused oppression. 」
Life is greedy, love doesn't have to be a choice
The child was born four months ago, yesterday, two parents gather in this room to carry on the saliva ceremony. Cindy said life happy moment a lot, but yesterday that moment is irreplaceable: "In this room gathered both parents, help the baby to accept saliva, together with the photo." This is the love of the family, I did not think that one day, I can cross all the obstacles to come here, the heart is very complete, but also very grateful. 」
Lana agreed that it was not easy and rare for them to recognize their home after having children: "I agree that children bring a lot of cohesion to home." If you ask me the happiest moment of my life, I will remember the day when I saw my child. 」
Lana said to see the child at first sight, holding 37 weeks in the heart of the Big Stone finally fell: "The first time I saw him (brother Xiang Xiang), I burst into tears, I think it's amazing." Two children are not easy to live together, we try to survive 37 weeks, worried about the child alveolar immature, worried about the child will not have any situation. Then I went to the recovery room to see her (Cindy), think she is very hard, because anesthesia hands and face trembling, I know her suffering and fear. 」
When Lana spoke, she trembled with words and the words, the shock of life, because of the suffering, the happiness of how profound. She rubbed Cindy palms, Cindy said: "She really is also very hard, no more relaxed." She carried all the housework and took care of it throughout the pregnancy, and I was so worried about the paralysis of the facial nerve of premature birth that we had to thank her for the time we spent. (Recommended reading: The deepest Love Manifesto: Why did the US chancellor decide to legalize gay marriage?) )
Lana's eyes are tears, my body is full of happy goose bumps, the best days are all. She said: "The things that I used to think I had to choose, now I have it, because we are together to come to this step." How can there be such a good thing? 」
How can there be such a good thing? Lana congratulated, Cindy said: "We have to be greedy in life, do not hold the desire to get other people's permission for the heart, to have what we want, do not have to choose." 」
Thank you for coming.
What do you want to say to each other? Cindy thought for a moment, and she gazed at Lana and said, "I have never been partial to fortune, but I know you as a lottery, all the good fortune, thank you for making me complete." 」
Lana put the words into the heart, she said this sentence told cindy:"many people say that life is 70 before the beginning, I met you only to start my life, thank you for coming. 」
I smiled, jealous tears, before parting accept two people unconditional deep hug.
I thanked to say that today is very good, this interview soft my daily dust, watching them strive to be happy, we promote marriage equality can not regress.
I saw them and I realized that Chiang Hsun wrote "Wish": "I would like to be the arm/let you rely on/though white-haired/I still want to be your foot of the fire/with your discuss memories of old age/You are laughing I am with your song/You are tears I am accompany your starlight.