What is the world talking about this week? Last week I picked out a hot topic for you from the guardian of the UK. " when a man harassed my 13 daughter in person," this Monday to look at the Huffington Post Reader letters, the big size model Kat Stroud Tired of the world's skepticism about her relationship with her tempura husband. , she walked through the moment of self-doubt, determined not to let other people's doubts stand in the way of love. She wants to let the world have more fat girl narrative, together to see her forceful letters translation! (Recommended to you: Stop putting fat girls and skinny girls on Libra: Stop using a body to reset the meaning of a person)
Most of the little girls have heard of parents such a warning, "If you imagine a fairy tale with happy ending, it is best to make their appearance attractive, also don't eat too fat." "This is a reasonable explanation for why we rarely see the story of large women and tempura men in the mainstream media, because it makes us believe that" attractive, well-fit men should be with attractive, well built women, "he said. 」
You never see a big size princess with a Prince Charming to live a happy life together. Rebel Wilson will never play a romantic comedy with Brad Pitt, the Fat Man has a fat circle, thin have thin circle, this is our world.
Most people would agree that large models are considered second-class citizens in the fashion circle. We are bombarded by all kinds of slimming activities, often with our endorsement of plastic surgery or laxatives, and we are not accidentally harassed by a group of harpoon such as Project or thinner Beauty. (Recommended reading: Big size models and black female model proof: New York Fashion Week, you should not only focus on beauty and fashion)
Therefore, when other people's eyes of "Tian Cai" near the large size of us, whether in front of the screen or in real life, others can hardly believe that we have a so-called "true feelings."
In my own experience, the compliment of others usually carries a tone of suspicion. But later, I found that the feelings of self-loathing and suspicion are quite harmful to the relationship, especially when it comes to your cherished relationship, which is what my husband taught me.
A few months ago, when I dated him, I was feeling insecure and suspicious. He was charming to me or to the social perception, and I could not restrain my continued suspicion of his motives. "Why did he ask me out?" Is he testing if he can date a fat girl? Or is this the western version of the "remake The Boar" joke? "I would like to believe that he is really interested in me, I and he really" level ", but the community in my heart planted in the seeds of doubt, my only little confidence destroyed.
Project Harpoon Fan Group screenshot
When we started dating, I persuaded myself to believe "I really deserve this man." I kept asking myself, "is he sneaking around looking at the blonde and her heels?" Am I the biggest girl he ever dated? "When we go on a date, the eyes that others cast on us make the negative emotions go up in my heart," he said. I saw the disgust of people, and after we had passed, people began to whisper or laugh.
People feel that our love is a special case, there must be something strange.
Until one day, I finally summon up the courage to put all the questions in my heart to my husband once to understand, his anger, surprise and humiliation of the mood can be imagined. He never thought that people were talking about us, and I was very surprised that I was "not good enough for him".
Do you know that the man in front of me never regards my "fat" as "the problem I must solve and overcome", and he simply treats me as a beautiful, kind, independent and attractive woman. I realized that I spent too much time in the past caring about the beauty and ugliness of others, but spent too little time focusing on what I really felt about my body.
Our self-confidence should not only be based on the praise of others, and similarly, we should not because of others one or two of criticism, and into the endless cycle of self condemnation and suspicion.
Since then, I have been more confident of my body. And I find that what really makes me sexy is not underwear, jewelry or high heels, but I feel so beautiful.
I am convinced that living in a society that struggles to create doubt and panic, choosing to love Yourself is the most romantic.
When people see my husband and I, he, people in the eyes of the day food, I, people in the eyes of the fat sister, love each other, support each other, this impact on people's established impression of happiness. It may also make a lot of people feel uncomfortable. But what about it? If you love who you are, and your lover loves you, then the words of others will never hurt you.
A more free age of love! Society needs more true narratives
Big size model Kat Stroud tells the rare story of a fat girl. She walks in the valley of self-doubt, once a fat girl who "despises herself" and doubts that she is unworthy of being loved, and at last she calmly writes an honest confession, not just for the prosecution, but for a more active loosening of the established dogma of love and of the body. She said softly and firmly: "We are in love, why let other people's eyes go before we love?" I looked down and I thought, did I ever see a similar situation and flashed the idea of how they were together? (Recommended reading: When we can not create a society of Difference coexistence: "Fat girls are Beautiful" become sentimental )
Society has threatened fat girls in every way since childhood (and warned us not to be fat girls) on TV we see fat girls are often excluded from the class, people maliciously threw stones, tomatoes, eggs or hate language, fat girl figure always lonely desolate. All the channels of communication told her, "You are too far away from the beautiful, people do not love you, when they say love, more time is not a motive." 」
The ugly woman turns over the stills
So we seem to be accustomed to, the impression of those screen fat girl, not necessarily "ugly woman big turn" thin down to everyone revenge, is to be labeled "Fat girl heart Very good" of the second label waiting to meet another same kind of fat boy. The society speaks with repeated language, the fat girl is not worth being loved equally. So after 100 years of free will not freedom, people's vision is the former parentage, judgement of A and b enough to be together.
And when we look at the world in a two-dollar dimension, it's never just the fat girl, but the skinny girl who's taken for granted the Take it all. A standard that profoundly persecuted the daily lives of different ethnic groups. No one really has a vested interest.
Perhaps we should have jumped off fat, thin, beautiful, ugly two yuan theory of relativity, know that love and meet never only exchange conditions, other people's vision is not enough to determine the shape of our love. With the confession of Kat Stroud, we would like to see more society accommodating the possibility of more love, embracing more erotic imaginations beyond the scattered frame, and telling more about the love of the narrative. (same field Gayon: jump off the beauty and ugliness of relativity!) Lizzie velasquez:"Don't call me the ugliest woman in the world."
Until that day, we can say with no grudge, I love you, only because you are you.