Adler psychology, life is not as complex as you think, we have to learn not more, but to simplify everything. Five exercises to get us closer to simplicity and purity of ourselves.
Why a year past, you are full of regrets, why many years past, you always miss the silly at that time, hey, I thank you for your confusion at this time, thank you still haven't been changed and persuaded by the world. This year, you need to be more unruly and go into collision. Reading Adler psychology, you do not need to meet better you, you just need to find the real yourself, because you are good enough. (Recommended reading: to a little confused and wandering more than 20 years old )
Over the past two years, Adler Psychology has become widely known, and the fact that our lives, from Carnegie to Richard Carlsson , has long been filled with the effects of Adler's theory on modern psychology. Adler Psychology is a more near common sense of existence, it does not talk about pure psychology, direct discussion of interpersonal relationships, after reading Adler, you will find that the world is simpler than you think. We all need a more clean world dimension, a new year, five exercises that will bring us closer to simplicity and purity of ourselves.
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First, care about the future, do not chase the passing past
Generally speaking, life is meaningless, and the meaning of life is to be given by oneself. 」
Adler believes in Teleology, and he argues that we are often held to account for more than attempted change. Constantly in the past to find reasons, can not make us into the ideal of ourselves. Regrets the old lovers, regret the dream of youth, are negative, places more important than the place, from the Adler psychology, "Cause and effect" of the idea is wrong. We use our emotions for a certain purpose, not because we are driven by emotions or by them.
It's just that we like to throw our commitment to cause and effect and use our emotions to achieve a purpose. In the 2016, we should exercise a more dominant and control mood to make choices, no longer arbitrarily hurt people, no longer easy to give up. you are not enslaved by your emotions, because you are the master of your emotions. (Extended reading: don't be kidnapped by emotion: Put down your anger, reconcile yourself )
Two, you are very good now, do not need to become special
In Adler's theory, "superior plot" is as morbid as "inferiority complex", and people are eager to pursue excellence, but many times our needs turn to others ' approval. We will deliberately express ourselves, hope that they are particularly bright eyes, with the "extraordinary" action to please others. Comparatively speaking, the happiness of life becomes dependent on others. If a person everywhere wants others affirmation, not he thinks oneself is not good, but he does not want the ordinary.
In fact, we never need so many unique moments, applause will fall, appreciate your audience will always go, learn in the curtain after the stage to enjoy their own beautiful, to do their own first audience bar. You don't need to be "special" to be different, you're unique. (You will like: The life of a person extraordinary time, do not need so much )
Third, acceptance is hated, let you live more freely
"There is nothing in it." --Adler
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There is no enemy in life is very dangerous, that means that you are always with others, you hope not to be hated, be liked, you may get all the favor, but in the end you will hate yourself. Too concerned about other people's perceptions, you will lose the "action", other people's thoughts and thinking, is someone else's topic, should not bother you.
There is no perfect freedom, every freedom is accompanied by responsibility. We are born free, but because of the constraint and rules of the day after tomorrow, we think we are always living in the norms. A lot of times, when we think we're out of our bounds. Freedom is not a laissez-faire, it is also accompanied by some of the world's survival trajectory. Shore see Ichiro in the past, do you like yourself-Adler's courage psychology, for example, birds can fly, because they understand the air flow, seemingly obstructed airflow, in fact, is the power of bird flight. (recommend you see: like oneself is not afraid of others hate!) Jolin Tsai debut 16 confession: "No matter how the outside world looks at me, I still want to sing my Song")
Four, you do not need the integrity of others, others do not have to complete your expectations
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Life is different, just big or small. It's easy for us to get flustered because of "different", even if we take the initiative to intervene in differences. Right and wrong are relative, it is important to solve the problem before the first clear: "This matter belongs to whose topic?" "From the point of view of who must bear the last, the answer is clear." In contrast, when friends talk about their troubles, what we have to do is to listen more than suggest.
This is not the same as strangers, in the personal life of the subject, as a bystander intimate relationship, can do the best thing is the quiet guardian, not excessive interference. The power of companionship is stronger than we think, otherwise, many times your intervention will destroy his previous efforts. Let's learn to be a better listener and quiet to appreciate his graceful ups and downs. (Hey Dear: Why do we pursue normalcy without celebrating uniqueness?) )
V. What you need is to move forward, not to climb
Adler's psychology advocates that the vertical relationship between man and man will harm health, so the so-called longitudinal relationship is criticism, praise, evaluation of the right, and the relationship between the powerless and the incompetent. He advocated "horizontal relations", indicating that people have no advantages and disadvantages, only with different starting point, in different directions.
Supervisor or employee, mother or child, it's all part of the role, and everyone has their own responsibilities, and the goal is to work in parallel towards a good direction and achieve a common goal, not a right to cut. On this road of life, someone is walking in front, someone is behind, someone is walking fast, someone is walking slowly. Does not mean that we have to achieve the goal through competition, or fast or slow, where to go, is a personal choice, should not win or lose to prove their own upward. What we really should have is the power of "going forward."
In a peer-to-peer relationship, you never have to show off or prove yourself, and you will respect and understand the uniqueness of each other's life, as you would agree with yourself. Walk fast with the loneliness and clarity of walking fast, slow and slow to go slowly crowded and comfortable. You don't have to envy others, and others can't have your life.
Five New Year gifts for yourself, freeing up more complete time to accompany yourself, understanding your imperfections, accepting other people's differences, we no longer arrive at a goal in psychology, but through psychology, to the heart of the individual's core. All subjects are returned to their own, learn to be responsible for their own freedom.