Raipexia, she is a spiritual mentor in many people's minds, in the people most lost helpless, cast with gentle eyes and soft words, she said Love herself is actually very simple, is you respect yourself, understand their boundaries, try to cherish their own than others cherish you more, it is enough.
Raipexia teacher is the most gentle person I have ever met. Her gentleness has the temperature, is very three-dimensional, full and down-to-earth.
I think a lot of people still remember her TED speech in 2012 and thought she said, "Everyone is looking for a way home, and this road is winding, we have no other way to go." "For many people, we need not only the courage to be hated, but also the courage to go home."
Screenshot from TED speech screen
I was an audience in front of the screen in 2012, and now she sits in front of me and I listen to her and think that her people have more stories than her experiences.
She let me know, if you are willing to put aside too much to make you bitter hate, if you are willing to feel without distraction, if you are willing to live no longer wronged, your gentleness will have a very powerful energy, can give themselves, but also give others strength. (same field Recommendation: If you are hurt to be gentle )
Do not talk about family cases: I love all with hate, so unhappy people
Interview Raipexia Day, She Kingyan with pig brother Bright "not reconciliation" news noisy uproar, She Kingyan in small giant egg stage tearful family past, pig brother Bright The other days with VCR response said daughter Good ruthless, why not accept my love? I asked Raipexia, who advocated "family awakening" for years, what does she think?
She looked at me very sincerely and shook her head and said she was unwilling to talk about the case because there were so many this choice. "In fact, I look at this news, my first idea is to love dearly, love them three people." Originally two people quarrel, but become three people. I see not only She Kingyan, but many children in front of their parents, must choose side Station. Election side of the station at the same time, also stirred into the parents of the tangle. (Recommended reading: Gender Watch: Pig Brother Liang's "prodigal Son" and She Kingyan "dirty linen in the cupboard")
"In the family, we often have very deep loyalty to our mother, so many children would rather choose pain, but also to their own mother faithful, so the mother's self-awareness is also important, she can help children to peace." "Raipexia stopped," I do not want to talk about right and wrong, I am not judge, but these years to lead the consultative course, I know clearly, in the heart of hatred, in fact, very bitter. 」
"Do you mean to hate an ex-boyfriend or to hate your own father?" She asked softly, and I made a clear feeling of her heartache. She says the idea of advocating "family awakening" is simply to give parents the respect they deserve.
"Family awakening is respecting your roots, whether you like it or not, that's your root." You don't have to love your parents, but you have to give your parents the respect they deserve. The father is there, the mother is there, you can grow up and feed yourself, but you will never be born. 」
Family awakening, want to put everyone's position, respect the root of life. Hate dad or Mom is very hard, because no one really can live with hate, still feel happy. "Sounds illogical, but sometimes the subconscious mind, we just want, that makes us bitter hate, very strange, right?" 」
"I would think that the process of parents educating their children, let him know, not with hate to face the world, is we can give children the greatest gift." 」
Raipexia eyes gentle, tone bradycardia, love dearly all heart grudges, and thus pain of the people. In fact, from an early age, no one seriously taught us how to communicate with the family, we do not break the concept of peace, so many people in the struggle after the pain, only slowly find calm, when a person no longer bear grudges to the world. (Recommended reading:"Raipexia Special text" by parents hate raising children, how to understand love? )
The real happiness of a man is to see himself growing up
In such a mood can not find the day to express the channel, Raipexia words, soothing a lot of people, it is a state of mind that is understood, you finally see and accept yourself here, happy and unhappy, are part of you.
She bid farewell to the former Showbiz singer identity, with a closer way toward the crowd. Since 1989, she has gone through the juvenile prison, the women's prison, the rehab and halfway house, and many people have called her a spiritual mentor, and she says her favorite identity is always to be a student. (Same field Gayon: The man who swallows batteries in prison: the world is not indifferent, we decide its indifference )
"I am a person who likes to challenge, can know oneself bigger possibility, very enjoyable." It turns out that a person's real happiness is partly because he sees himself growing up. I used to do stupid things, stupid, stupid, stupid, because I wanted to get back to the original setting and go up. If we have been at the peak, the days ahead must be boring. 」
She suddenly showed a naughty look, "so you asked me what role I like myself?" I like to be a student, I like to study, I like to learn all the things I do not. 」
Perhaps because of this, she is a more competent teacher. Know that the teacher title for a long time must have bad habits, so she does not comfort circle, the best way to get rid of bad habits is to continue to do their own not to do, so she can understand why students are afraid. (same field Gayon:"Uncomfortable, it is the beginning of growth" to write a letter to the work of your hesitation )
I particularly like her attitude to face the challenge, she does not reluctantly, not tough to break, but more leisurely to face their current state, the challenge came, a firm step, four or two.
She says she's not a pressure-free person, but she understands that stress is impossible to remove and therefore finds ways to adjust. "Anything that's long, it's going to be stressful." I like to play this analogy, like me sitting, may sit for 10 minutes, 15 minutes, there is pressure, then I will change the posture, do another 15 minutes, you can change the posture. 」
"We take the pressure too seriously, the pressure is not good or bad, that is, you adjust it again, and more clearly understand your current limitations." Try to adjust and respect yourself a little more. She said as she adjusted her posture, and I jotted down, feeling that it was a rare revelation for modern people.
You are willing to admit your shortcomings before you can find the strength
Raipexia early on to love their own concept, reminding people to pull the weight back to their own body. In recent years, the term "love oneself" has been repeatedly interpreted, superimposed, plastic, she also self-correcting, "I think that love themselves may not be accurate, love is abused, we are not sure what love is, but in the name of love, do too many bad things." So, I would like to talk about respecting myself. (Recommended reading: Theater Female Force Yau Kunjun: Gentle Love yourself, is spared the can't "perfect" you person )
"Respect oneself is to know oneself of the heartbeat, understand oneself of line, know oneself can endure how much, embrace oneself present state, go to cherish oneself." Cherish themselves, do not do too much reluctantly, and their own said, we have a lifetime of time to do a lot of things. 」
To hurt yourself, you do not have to do anything, but to understand that all emotions are real, and not good or bad. You do not have to hide, nor need to arm yourself to face the world, you start to respect your own existence, to feel alive freedom.
"We learn to accept our limitations, our weakness and our sadness, and when we fully accept ourselves, our strength comes." You are willing to admit your own shortcomings, you can find strength ah. 」
Is the concept of reign and then born? Raipexia smiled and said, because the emotion is true, when we tell the truth, there is power. Success is not the same as psychology, success has always been chasing and elimination, never ending well must be better, and constantly abandon the old outdated their own. But the body and mind growth is not, more important is to accept their own state: better yourself, that is, you are willing to accept yourself. (same field Gayon:"Human graph Weather Report" Don't attack yourself, don't despise yourself )
"It's important to admit that you're in the current state, and you want to sprint and get tired and rest." Now we often make life like a treadmill, feel that they can not stop, it is not good. As long as you are willing to listen to yourself, you will know that you can stop, you can do for yourself the most basic things, the next want to run can continue to run. 」
Modern people's life is very busy also greedy, every day to accept a lot of "this is the best" proposal, days full of noise. Raipexia also not hurriedly said, perhaps this awakening will come faster, we will understand faster, freedom and not freedom are their own choice, if we can bind ourselves, must also be able to release ourselves. "We all have to practice when people who can grasp the resilience of life are not taken by the nose, just because everyone keeps telling you, you feel like you have to go." 」
Love yourself, can have a lot of action, behind is a clear reason: I respect myself, so true here, I seriously to see my problems and status, I want to open my eyes, take a good look at themselves. (Recommended to you: The most beautiful love, is to let you find love from yourself )
What I want is not a marriage, I want an intimate relationship.
When you see yourself, you will know better what kind of relationship you want.
Raipexia had a hard marriage, "my biggest mistake in that relationship was that I thought I could turn the other into what I wanted, and I was wrong." It's not fair for him to think so, when you feel like someone needs to change, you just think he's bad. "She definitely knew she didn't want such a relationship, so she chose to leave.
After that, he met the present gentleman Shai Zhihong, and she never thought to change him anything, she loved him all. Leaving a marriage makes her more aware of what she wants, not the marital life, but the intimacy. "My intimate relationship is to find a playmate." (same field Gayon: from "I" to "we": Intimate and independent exercises )
Her eyes young girl up, "I and Zhi Hong now is very good friends, to each other very exciting." I would like to see each other and want to do everything with him. We appreciate each other, so we all live in heaven. 」
When people drew up to talk about how to "maintain" relationships, Raipexia light reminders, intimate relationship pointers should be echocardiography. The heart is very beautiful, the heart is in the small place, also in each day, therefore her new book also named " I want to move for a lifetime: intimate relations 10 exercises ".
The key to a lifetime is choice. She mentions that when you choose to magnify your strengths, you feel happy; When you choose to magnify your weaknesses, you will feel unlucky. In front of the relationship, you're not as helpless as you think you are.
"People are amazing, when they are attracted to each other, it is a complementary trait." But after together, we start to struggle with power and worry about getting the other person to be the same as ourselves, because we feel we are right. But I and Chi-hung seriously appreciate each other, I appreciate his thinking concise and quick, decisive, he appreciates my stability and steady, we do not want to make the other side of the same as ourselves. 」
She talked about the importance of communication in relationships. "The premise of communication is to be honest with yourself, do not retreat to take care of themselves, do not wronged yourself." Do not wronged oneself is not domineering, but responsible for their own. If you do not wronged yourself, you will not put the account of self abuse and suffering, on the other side of the head. 」
The relationship is two people work together, Raipexia also to the son Tony and 隋棠 's marriage and family life, give a deep blessing, laughing that parents can do is not interfere with their trouble. Marriage is a piece of paper, should not be tied to the intimate relationship, the road may be long, and love always make people soft. (Recommended reading:"Women in the private to talk about" 隋棠 with life proof, do their own women The best life )
I am doing good: love dearly yourself, than others dearly you more
Raipexia Smile said others always shout her a teacher, and she still has been learning, she certainly has a low and vacant moment. But emotions are emotions, feelings are feelings, they are true, there is no right or wrong, right and wrong are human additions. The emotional ups and downs of human nature, as the seasons come and go, like your tears, and not wrong. (Recommended to you: don't be emotionally kidnapped: Put down your anger, reconcile yourself )
"We should do is to accept their own appearance," she said, like the concept of good times, by "female" plus "son" composition, men and women, there is no good who is bad. In the future, we must all believe that we can make choices in the present moment more consciously, and make a good choice for ourselves and each other. So the great times are good, the big woman is also very good, the day of the scene " her story " to share the speech, she hopes to talk more about "self-awareness."
"All the changes need to be aware, to feel the state of being present, without concealment and disguise, I think it is too important." If your state is confusing, if you feel that you are in a standstill, it is okay. No one has ever told us that, right? I particularly want to say to everyone, you are okay, you are doing good."
"You have tried, you have done very well," so gently a word, you have to remember to leave yourself, try to love yourself, more than others love dearly you.
The time to visit Raipexia is very fast, she likes to ask me how to think, and then look very carefully into my eyes. We talk about the awakening of the original family, talk about the excitement of intimacy, talk about accepting their frustration and possibility, listening to her many times, I have the impulse to cry, her eyes so that people really feel that they are so important.
If the world forgets to treat you well, at least you must remember to treat yourself kindly. Originally I am very important, originally we all very important, then the weight returns to oneself body, the strength also follows back. Raipexia with that pair of pure and gentle eyes, accept oneself, also warm this world.