Have you ever heard of the major sexual assault ? It was an event that had been forgotten, because the confessions of the Parties and their boyfriends had been possible. The incident of W classmate yesterday in the face book write apology text, from her apology, we see always stealth perpetrators, we see the victims bear too much, we see the world, still full of ubiquitous gender intimidation. (same field Gayon: sex Watch: "Sexual assault is not alcohol, but you" Stanford sexual assault victim to the Society of a letter)
The major sexual assault occurred in June of 2015. Wang surname male classmate borrow Jiuyi, good name escort W surname learn elder sister home, but in the elevator mouth floor before the school sister trousers, sexually invaded. After the incident, the sister's boyfriend Zhu surname classmate in the elevator mouth found her and clothes not the whole surname classmate, some students also in the scene, the incident later entered the school sex flat Working group agenda.
Every other year, Zhu surname male classmate wrote " about Shing of sexual assault", indicating Xia Linqing Dean's handling process flaws, several attacks W classmate's victimization posture, Wang surname male classmate and the witch sister has say my name, the public began to notice this forgotten event.
More people rolled in, more harm came, the public hearing after the incident has not been clear, each said the words, Xia Linqing repeated the statement, W classmate's accusation is angry projection, has hurt himself and the school's reputation, they should not bear these, ask her public apology.
September 21, 2016, W students write an apology text, she said, this is not only a sexual assault, she said she could not avoid the process, she to others caused by the cruel consequences.
W classmate apologized, but those who owe her apology, where have all gone? The largest sexual assault cases remind us that our attention to sexual assault cases is far from enough. (same field Gayon:"no longer silent" to the society's heart-breaking confession: I from three years old, began to be sexually abused )
A society that does not allow victims to become victims
W classmate first apologized to Xia Linqing teacher, she is sorry is "the process of the matter", may unintentionally hurt the Xia Linqing. She called Xia Linqing as a teacher, she showed that she really hurt in the process of conversation, but also willing to give summer teacher justice, Xia Linqing did not eat case, many evaluation is not fair.
"Xia Linqing Teacher: I want to tell Xia teacher sorry, I in the process of talking with the teacher, indeed very hurt, but summer teacher did not eat the case, the process of social public opinion effect of the formation of eating case, summer teacher for this many charges, not my intention, but still hurt summer teacher, I want to talk with summer teacher Sorry, I have clarified it in the Ministry of Education's investigation. I hope that society can stop the unfair evaluation and attack on Xia teachers, all the mistakes are caused by me. 」
Regardless of the W classmate really independent apology, or many people speculate "be apologized", I saw that she is always more mature than Xia Linqing, she face the incident, she is willing to tell, she did not escape, she understand their own pain, also willing to care about their own process unintentionally caused harm.
When Xia Linqing talk about the victim's ego-training, the sad role of being detached from the victim, ask W students to think about what they have experienced as a woman in this event, then use the same position, feel that they are in the process of "forced" Xia Linqing, whether with her most hopeless gesture of sadness, blackmail "her heart of the perpetrator"w classmate? "
Why do w students have to bear so much? What happened to the victim?
Our society often does not allow the victim to be the victim, always in a hurry to point to her to start the whole body review: Are you too drunk? Did you wear a skirt too short? Is there a hint in your language that made him misunderstand? Do you have any fun?
Physical suffering accompanies the same painful verbal harassment. Sexual assault victims have long been labeled with colorful labels and various interpretations of stories before telling their stories.
Can you, after being hurt, let her have a good position for herself? Can we, first of all, allow the victim to become a victim, to be aware of his own victimization, to speak his own narrative of victimization, and to have the opportunity to be in the future without being trapped in the victim's role. (Recommended reading: don't let the sexual assault victims around you remain silent: accompany him through six sessions of Pain )
The third person who is absent from the apology: where is the male classmate surnamed Wang?
The victim should have the possibility to speak for himself, and the perpetrator must appear and not be the third person to be absent.
W classmate for the process of the incident to apologize to Xia Linqing, then there is no one to apologize for the sexual assault incident? I want to go to the end of the question is that the King surnamed Wang where the boy went? Why did he run away from the scene with a "I'm Drunk" blur the facts? Why did he go back to school like nothing? (Recommended reading: courage to bear the pain!) Big girl student carrying the mattress on the incident to sue the culture of rape
Xia Linqing wrong, she process has lost, her language oppression, her system to suppress personal rights, but she also should not be Wang surname male classmate endorsement. In a series of events, Wang's surname was never seen by male students, and he did not bear anything.
If someone really should apologize, I think Wang surname male classmate really owes W classmate three times cautious apology: one is for the unauthorized sexual assault, once for the sake of hindsight, once for the witch students for him the perpetrator carried all the fire, she took too much for him.
If we think further, we will find that the perpetrators of sexual assault are often invisible. We often use the victim as the subjects, said she was "sexually disturbed", she was "raped", the disappearance of the perpetrator, never should be forgotten.
Sex violence education scholar Jackson Katz, in his speech at TED, mentions that gender-based violence is a male issue. He explains the relationship between the perpetrator and the perpetrator through a series of word changes, and turns attention focused on the perpetrator. "John hit Mary", "Mary was beaten by John", "Mary was beaten", "Mary was abused" and "Mary is a battered woman".
Public opinion reviews the victims because they always ignore the potential problems of the perpetrators. (Recommended reading:"The body was found to be a girl deserved?" "The ubiquitous culture of violence Rape Culture."
Instead of ignoring the core of the problem, Jackson Katz advocates a step-by-step approach to change, and when someone else is saying or doing something hurtful, instead of allowing it to happen, it's brave enough to say that you don't support it, that you don't think it's what our society should be, and that it's a social atmosphere that (Recommended reading:"Xu Yu-Fang column" I became a feminist )
The ubiquitous threat of sexual assault
As important as the sexual assault, there is the pervasive threat of sexual assault in our society.
Sexual assault intimidation has various names, sometimes packaged to protect your reputation, I think, as a girl, I have heard more than once, you have to know how to protect themselves, not too late to go home. I would like to ask why, when this society has hidden dangers, we do not to solve the danger, but repeatedly regulate the girl to protect themselves is her responsibility?
Sexual assault intimidation is sometimes in the name of retaliation. I see, someone in Xia Linqing's face book write down, I hope you do not have a daughter, I hope your daughter will not meet the future of the younger brother, I hope your daughter will not become your mouth sad "victim."
The most important thing we should confront is to stop the "sex" from becoming a potent threat, to stop the victims from being trained to admit their mistakes, to stop condoning the perpetrators, to continue to nourish a world of fear and not to consolidate gender power relations between men and women.
I think W classmate's apology How "brave", she writes herself also to remember others accuse of harm, she does not throw hatred her heart to forgive, and I hope that in the future we no longer need a "must be brave" victim, but there is a woman no longer need to feel sorry for the world.
Women are obsessed with sex and believe that action can change the world!
As long as you stand out, you can let more people live in a free, reassuring world.
Invite you to participate in the " Gender violence decoding program " and act together to embrace a better future!