Women are obsessed with " Gender watch " notes, with a motivational, environmental impact, and a short story that shares gender-related events. The recent "Why some women hate to have children" is a hot topic, and we would like to extend the discussion on the contemporary of the intensive motherhood, whether the individual as a mother has a new practice path. (Recommended thinking: is the uterus a privilege or a yoke?) )
Look at the know, found a discussion string recently very hot "Why do some women hate having children?" "
The original questioner mentioned that he and his girlfriend were together in the 34, there are plans to marry, found that the girlfriend does not want to have children, women and maternal identity link with fear, women have a uterus, is not only as a child's container? Also doubt, is not for many people, surely the mother is strong and Yiki?
An anonymous user out of the head, sharing their own experience, indicating whether to have children, when the family meeting, the whole family decided to have a child, so they split up a good responsibility. After the birth of the child, she continued to defend her life, "I do not want to have no way to make me pregnant", to mention the thousands of troubled girls to decide the birth, and then to live life to take fight back. (The original user has been deleted, can click this read)
Nearly 50,000 people according to praise, the community of a group of friends said happy, the responsibility and choice of the mother to make a debut, become a mother must go through the family mediation and self-identity pull, became a contemporary people consider to be a compulsory lesson. (Recommended to you: the topic of pregnancy )
The contemporary of intensive motherhood, is it possible to take into account all life?
The contemporary status of the intensive motherhood (intensive mothering), "for the mother is strong" patriarchal thinking, "child-centered" emotional labor, so that women face children, family, career, self-pursuit of the long carriage appears to be weak, most people do not dare to shout, because do the mother, can complain? (same field Gayon: from prenatal anxiety to postpartum incontinence: Five "mother" problems you don't know about)
But she shouted out that there were a few paragraphs to see her write, and felt particularly interesting, "at that time, my husband and father and mother in-laws advised me to have children, I specifically told them that let me sacrifice my career is impossible, then mother-in-law said that women's home to earn some money is enough, and so on, I replied that you choose your road, I choose my way. In fact, I was ready, big deal divorce divorce, the world is also who left who will not survive. 」
"I was pregnant husband to do all the housework, after childbirth using milk powder feeding, the husband is all responsible, parents and in-laws said will help him, as for me, how to do housework at home now how to do, for me is just pregnant and once childbirth, other things are not my tube." 」
"When they accuse me of irresponsibility, I say, you let me have children, of course, the responsibility is yours, at this time they said that as a mother born should shoulder their responsibilities, I said if you really put me in charge, I would not have a child, because I will not have a child I can not bear responsibility. (The same field Gayon:"Ding Juan" to be a professional pregnant woman: Who says the child and work to two choose one? )
The word meaning is plain, the people mouth "motherly love" and "the mother job" behind is actually shirking the responsibility and is neglected the labor, should not take a breath all to drop in the female body, but needs the family to share together.
We may wish to look back at the current situation of Taiwan's data.
When you leave the workplace, you become the "least resistant" mother of the road
According to the survey data of the 2013 "Gender and marital status, labor participation rate" in the main office of the Executive Yuan, in Taiwan, there is a 71.46 per cent labour participation rate for male couples (including spouses or cohabitation), compared with 62.12 per cent for single males, compared with the Lauzen of Taiwanese women. The Lauzen rate of single women was similar to that of single men, at 60.39%, only 48.94% after entering the relationship.
And if we compare the data with the children in the occasional group, 15~64岁 have even groups of women, childless Lauzen rate of up to 70.42%, with children under 3 years old, the labor participation rate reduced to 58.11%, the children are under 6 years old, the labor participation rate slightly increased to 62.09%, still lower than childless.
It is not difficult to find out from the data that many women are facing the fact that: after entering into a relationship, women who are considered to be responsible for "caring work" continue to have a difficult job search, especially after the birth of the child, leaving the workplace to become a "least resistance" mother Road, and the child gold into a long-term 0-3-year-old especially.
And most women who leave the workplace are going to be harder to get back into the workforce. Writing here, I seem to hear the mother who still has a job search, sighs a sigh softly. (same field Gayon:"Pregnant topic" The beginning of life!) Not pregnant women should also see the Daily Pregnancy dictionary )
The three-dimensional nature of the return of motherhood and women is also a better future for children
"A mother can be a woman for oppression, restriction, deprivation, or nourishment, power, or empowerment." American feminist poet Adrienne Rich
In the face of the dense female status, feminist theory revolves around it, see many due to the institutionalization of the potential oppression, but we have to discuss, not to overthrow, but in order to return the mother's three-dimensional and pluralism, how many kinds of women, there should be how many kinds of mother practice, I am the mother, I am also my own.
When we comb the intimate links between our mothers and children, we invite our fathers (or partners) to join the ranks of the parents; Your child is not just your child "when we should also know that your mother is not only your mother, but only to untie the child and the mother of the pro-professional umbilical cord, the relationship may be able to develop a free personal practice.
Feminist scholar Nancy Chodorow in the book " Reproduction of the mother" (the Reproduction of Mothering), combining sociology and psychoanalysis, to examine how society inculcate " Women should become mothers "and assume the responsibilities of motherhood, reflect on the birth of the mother at the same time also put forward new possibilities: Perhaps the mother function becomes the opportunity to change society.
The upbringing process, should not be a tragic cycle and reciprocating, perhaps in turn, through their own revolution, challenge the unreasonable and oppression of the system, so that children learn to be responsible for their future life, as his mother.
Aside from the complexity of the theory, the informed answer is very straightforward, "I think as a mother, I should let the child see how a person should be strong, to their own fate firmly in their own hands, which is more important than to feed him!" 」
The word fate Han, the mother has own destiny, the child has his own, disconnects the umbilical cord, is detached from the amniotic fluid, we may be the more complete person, stands up establishes the more stereoscopic relation imagination.
By sociologist Sharon. Haines (Sharon Hayes) proposed. The intensive motherhood is "a gender model that forces mothers to spend a lot of time, experience and money in raising children." "If a mother fails to achieve the goal of all-round parenting, she will be considered a dereliction of duty," she said.