Continuation of the " pull-Shoulder belt " discussion, the author Kanghao from Aruba to play the shoulder belt of the "masculine growth game", the author Begonia discussion that year did not pull the shoulder belt boy: is the male and female of the sex movement comrades? today we look at the potential anxiety that a boy may have after a "shoulder strap" story, and even if a girl is traumatized, she doesn't necessarily have to go back to the "protected" victim and try to work together to create a social atmosphere that encourages counterattack and says uncomfortable things.
Two days ago, I wrote the boy from the shoulder band to acquiesce to the violence of society: my body, not your game , in their own face page to share, I wrote, only to those who have played my shoulder belt boys, if not "pull shoulder strap", do you know how to talk with girls?
My anger is obvious, why do girls have to be so baffled by your shoulder straps? Why do you want to play the girl's body? So more girls are summoned to tell their stories.
She was tall, and the boys were afraid to pull her shoulders, and she fought back on the first stretch of her shoulder. The boys were no longer daring to take hands, she did not hate to be pain, she felt youthful, and she was as silent as I was, until a long time later discovered that it was not their own fault, the original angry is not strange.
As a girl who had been playing with a shoulder strap, I never hated the boys who played with my shoulders, what I hate is to let the "shoulder strap" become a natural growth rule; I do not complain that I did not fight back loudly, perhaps I was not that personality girl, but I hate this society repeatedly let girls believe that "just touch/play a little not how" and " is our own overreaction. " (same field Gayon: an open letter of transgender resistance to rape: I was sexually assaulted, not what I deserved )
We live in a society that has never encouraged girls to fight back, and we live in a society that repeatedly teaches girls to endure.
Boys attacked by anxiety: how to face a disintegration in the world
I thought my anger was gentle, and it was not long before some of the boys asked me to hide their anxiety.
He claimed he had never played a shoulder strap and had always felt bored, so he was not " That kind of idiot guy. "He apologized for his past, he did not know that the straps and the skirts were so disturbing to the girls; he confessed to puberty, the girl is a completely difficult creature, he never knew how to communicate, no one taught him, so he bounced shoulders, expecting her to return a look back and talk to him. (same field Gayon: distinction between sexes, natural and natural?) )
At that moment I was amazed and thankful, and I thanked them for the anxiety I had seen as boys. When people scold Lin Yaqiang, the boys feel that they have been scolded, the heart of the awkward.
He thought of the hand he was playing with his shoulder, and how he suddenly became all evil in a single night; he suddenly realized that his naughty, may affect the girl how to understand her body, he faced a world he never thought of and perspective, feel very unfamiliar.
The boy who lived for a long time was born to serve heterosexual men, because of the feminist voice and negative perspective of the statement, and there is a huge crack. He may never have thought of such a vision to think things, so someone wrong, some people began to understand feminism, some people began to cut the claim that they are "good", some people hate the feminist exaggerated, just to be a sex picket. (Recommended to you: sex observation: Roying Snow is indeed wrong, but who is entitled to pull her shoulder strap?) )
So the conflict began to emerge and the whole thing became very difficult.
I struggled for a long time, feel that there is no other way, the pain can not be quantified, perhaps he really do not understand how girls will be uncomfortable, we can hardly understand how anxious he is. We can only say more, try to understand each other gently, with more love to face the existing hate. The so-called understanding, will always be painful.
But the boy is not only one kind, the girl not only one kind, the boy does not necessarily pull the shoulder belt, the girl does not necessarily dislike being pulled the shoulder belt, the world also not only one. If feminism teaches me anything, one of the things is not to think that the world you live in is so natural . (Recommended reading: Gender observation: feminism, to give people gentleness is to themselves gentle )
Girl Farewell victim Exposition! "What women want, what they don't, let her say it."
Image source: "Accomplice" film stills
I hated being pulled on the shoulder belt, and now I still hate, real.
I saw those who pulled my shoulder belt in the state of the boys on the point of praise, even I do not believe, I incredibly worried, I still vaguely feel that I have a hand behind, at any time may play my shoulder strap, can unconditionally invade me. (Same thought: your foolish, her hurt: our society owes a real help to the victims of sexual harassment )
I did not come, the wound has been, but even if I have any psychological trauma, I do not feel that girls can only return to the "victim discourse", can only wait to be protected, without the ability to fight back.
I believe that there is not only a "shoulder strap" story in the world, some people may feel that the straps are perfunctory, some people may feel hurt, some people may like. I hope the girls in the future will be able to stand up for themselves, what we want, what not to say, not to keep ourselves in the position of being dominated.
I don't think we're going to live in a "clean" society where "no one dares to pull the straps," but we always have to question, what makes boys think they can take the girls ' straps for granted? Should we be able to question the existing rules of this society, or do we create a single hegemony that oppresses the lives of some people?
Reread 14 years ago, Josephine Ho Teacher's " I want to orgasm, do not sexual harassment ," sharing, still feel gentle and happy, she had carefully dismantled the sexual harassment inside the "victim" position, and stressed the importance of female subjectivity. Excerpts from several paragraphs of the classics are as follows,
"In our sexually repressed society, children have long learned about physical matters, the things that are related to the passions are not to be said, but not to be shown in front of the outside, for such sexual repression so that he does not know how to express it when his body is violated, and the woman has never been taught how to express her anger, Not allowed to fight back, not allowed to speak loudly, when the situation, we still very ignorant said: "He will rape you, why not shout?" "Social culture completely did not create a cultural space for her to learn some behavioral patterns, only to teach her to passively accept everything, now blame her not to fight back?" (Recommended to you: Yang's erotic book: Why are virgins more popular in the love market?) )
"When it comes to sexual harassment, I take the orgasm out and tell you the truth: Women's passions have always been repressed, denied, unable to develop their passions and accumulate experience." 」
"So when I say no sexual harassment, I am more worried that everyone will go back to the original profit and loss logic, pay less, and pack yourself a little better, back to the kind of victims, the defenders of the posture, which is why the previous slogan is very important." Because on the foothold of this slogan, the female subjectivity appeared, the female said what I want, not what. 」
If there is any struggle, I think it should never be a physical man and a biological woman war, but should be all the people and the patriarchal system of the war. We refuse to be molded into a similar sex model, arguing that everyone can have their own way of living, and that everyone should have their own reasons for speaking. (same field Gayon: Joseph Gaudenlivai embracing feminism: "Don't let the sex define who we are!") ")