In the United States, Stanford male students sexually abused the case , the light sentenced to six months of criminal responsibility caused a social outcry. The victimized female student sent a long letter to society, to the system, to the perpetrators and survivors . We can no longer conceal pain, disregard pain. The victim, with his own body, invited everyone to see the pain . (same field Gayon: 16-year-old girl gang rape in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil: We must remind the world that justice has not yet come )
When she awoke, the world was rickety, her head was full of needles, her head was aching, and many people looked at her in amazement and horror . I learned from my family's mouth, she had just undergone a sexual assault, the man took off her clothes, pulled her hair to hit the leaves on the ground, and then began to put her finger into her body, and then the man said, this is not sexual assault, is the girl's body movements in the call, is the ignorance of each other after drunk. Suddenly, the world is full of compassionate eyes not like distressed, more like ready to abandon her.
This is the United States of America's concern, Stanford male nature of the case, the defendant Brock Allen Turner in the court declared that he was "too drunk" to do stupid, only "rape" to overthrow the crime. The defendant's father wrote a letter to the judge before the trial stating that his son had been severely disturbed by the incident and had even been suspended permanently (the defendant was a swimmer at Stanford University). He lived 20 years, only because of the 20-minute drunken disorderly behavior in prison, ruined the future.
(Stanford student protests)
June 3 The day, the victim has 7,000 words to contribute to the Buzz Feed Web site, a confession, a letter to the connivance of the rape culture of male students, male students of the family, the United States Court, as well as society as a whole.
Below, we look at the rape case on the basis of a few excerpts from the victim, not just a story of a boy raping a girl, but a world of systematic rape of sex.
Victim's first scene: not to be recorded for mental injury
"I sat in a room and was asked to sign a document, and I had to sign the" sexual assault victim (Rape victim) "field, my clothes were confiscated, and the nurses measured and photographed the wounds on my naked body. 」
"As the water flowed, I stood and examined my body, and decided not to want my body." I was terrified, I didn't know what was inside, I didn't know if it was tainted, who touched it. 」
"The harm to you is tangible: qualification, Degree, entry The right to learn is abolished, and the hurt to me is hidden, like the shadow accompanying. You deprive me of my value, my privacy, my energy, my time, my security, my intimacy, my faith and my own voice, until today. "
The defendant's father wanted to reverse the outcome by "20 years of his life, but only 20 minutes of wrongdoing." At the same time, the victim's traumatic experience is not easy to highlight, in court we pay attention to the facts of crime, but ignore the victim's psychological pain.
The healing process of the victims of sexual trauma is complex, and the "experience of sexual abuse" may produce the following two situations. An abused experience can cause physical pain to survivors, and second, the victim recalls the "pleasurable" ingredient in the experience. If the first feeling, the victim will feel fear and fear, and the second, the victim will fall into guilt and guilt. Many are both in the sexual assault experience, so the victim feels "abnormal". If society throws the victim into "accusation" with external force, it will deepen the difficulties of their recovery path.
"In court, I answered these questions: How old are you? How heavy are you? What do you eat this day? who cooks dinner? What do you drink for dinner? What were you wearing? Why did you show up at this party ? What led you to the place? Are you sure you're doing this ? When do you pee? Where do you pee? Do you always drink in college? You said you were a party animal? are you serious with your boyfriend ? you had sex with him? When did you start dating? will you cheat on your boyfriend? Do you have a history of cheating? do You remember when you woke up ? What color of your cardigan are you wearing ? Do you remember what happened that night ? not? Well, we'll let Braddock in. "
This "problem" two degrees hurt a woman who was raped, in the case of general aggression, victims are often subjected to such violent treatment: the questioning of judges, the questioning of society, whether a woman wears something, does she usually have alcohol and sex disorder, will change the criminal facts of rape?
It's not alcohol that took my clothes off, it's your hand.
"Alcohol cannot be an excuse. Is that an inducement? Count But the alcohol did not take off my clothes, meddle in me, and dragged my head into the ground near all my bare hands. I admit that drinking too much is a mistake I shouldn't have made, but it's not a crime. 」
"According to him, the only reason we're on the ground is because I fell," he said. Remember: If a girl falls down, help her up. If she's drunk, she's unstable and she falls, don't ride on her, fuck her, take off her underwear, and put your hand in her vagina. If a girl falls down, help her up. If she's wearing a cardigan in addition to her dress, don't take off her clothes and touch her breasts. Maybe she feels cold, maybe that's why she wears a cardigan. 」
She's a party animal, she's an alcoholic, she loves sex ... The total life trace, once added to the mob, becomes a crime. The defendant blamed the victim in an old-fashioned way: she seduced me and made me think she wanted it.
At this time, people will ask: "Why don't you Refuse?" "The victim says, being a drunk person, completely unconscious:" How do I prove I didn't mean that? "Then you have a question in your mind:" Why are you drunk? 」。 (same field Gayon: dress is too short, no one "should" be violated )
Problem, always on the victim. So the court's "private Life" as a clue to be aggressive, as if to prove that she is a "private life" of women, she deserved to be raped. What we want to see is the hands that make the victim's position, not the experience of overthrowing the injury.
To see a society that dares not admit pain
"In the newspaper, my pronoun is" the Unconscious Shen Fan woman (unconscious intoxicated woman) ", for a while, I even thought that it was me, I spent a lot of time to recognize their own names, to identify their victim location. I have to figure out that I'm still a worthwhile person. 」
"Yes, I was drunk, but the people around you didn't sexually invade me, you sexually abused me, so I'm sure it's your problem, why do I have to explain this?" 」
As if the former son of the major sexual assault questioned the students "you do not step on the victim's position, I want to know you as a woman in this matter learned experience" discusses, we are accustomed to explore whether the victim deserves to be a victim. In the same way, the judge strictly treats the victim, the defendant of the law, and the sentence of light punishment under the pretext of "the man is alive and young", which is undoubtedly a contempt for the victim's experience.
Criminal responsibility can be quantified, and the pain is unparalleled. Chen Jiehao in response to recent sexual assault in the nightmare of a lifetime : "As a victim of sexual assault, I would like to say that healing is a difficult thing, many times, you can not clear your own pain, you must face the mountains to the sea and the suspicion and distrust. Pain is a lifelong nightmare, this mandatory memory is difficult to understand the general people. The last straw that crushes the camel, however, usually comes from a betrayal of the most expectant and trusting person in the heart. In this silent structure, many victims have no way out and can only choose to end their lives. 」
Whether it is a court of questioning, or sentencing results, like to give survivors a cold blow, social oppression is not only vulnerable to physical harassment, sexual abuse of the ethnic groups, but also the oppression of pain, do not admit the pain. (Recommended reading: from the shoulders of boys to acquiesce to the violence of society: my body, not your game )
In addition to sentencing, we also look forward to seeing the victims or perpetrators in the case, there should be more complete psychological support measures. When the verdict is over, the parties have a long way to go: the imperfections of the heart, the strange treatment of the peers, the disregard for the society ... We need a world where we can see pain and deal with pain, to accompany the injured, to you, to understand ourselves.
To the perpetrator and the survivor: Our lives are all going forward.
"Here we are." The damage has been done, and no one can undo it. Now we have two choices: we can let this thing destroy life, can keep angry and hurt, you can deny. Or we can face it, I accept pain, you accept punishment, and we continue to move forward in our own lives. Your life is not over, you have decades of future rewrite your story. 」
"Dear Girl, I know that you are everywhere, and I want to say that I am with you." When you are lonely, I am here, when people doubt you, I am here. Never stop fighting, I want to quote a writer I like: "The lighthouse does not shine because the ship is not lost on the sea, it always shines there." "Although I cannot save every ship, I hope that through the present, you feel a little light, which guides you not to be silent, we deserve the small victory, justice is what we deserve." Most importantly, you need to know that you are important and need not be challenged, that you are beautiful, that you are valuable, that you should be respected. Every day, every second, no one can deprive you of your power from your body. To all the girls, I'm here, all the time. 」
(schematic, non-victim )
Finally, she had something to say to all the survivors, and there was something to say to the perpetrator.
What has happened is not lost because of indifference, it is always there, as with hope. As long as you look back, you can always see. Therefore, those dark things, because the accompanying dawn has a reason for existence. What we need to do is not to kill the wrong, but to face up to the mistake and try to find a better motive for people to live from the pain. (Recommended reading: don't let the sexual assault victims around you remain silent: accompany him through six sessions of Pain )
No one knows how long it will take for us to stay away from "the righteous father of the guilty son" and the "male student who tries to legalize sexual assault", away from the court that places men's careers and women's physical rights in a Libra. After the noise of these worlds, we turn and be upright, believing that the pain of dismantling will free the body that is imprisoned day and night by the patriarchal values.